The Truth About Cats

To say I have a love/hate relationship with my daughter’s cats would be an overstatement. It’s not really that extreme most of the time, though I do think they would be very tasty if barbecued.

The black and white one might as well be brain dead, he is too stupid to come inside out of the rain. I’ve often wondered if his head was the heretofore undiscovered example of a perfect vacuum in nature. If he was any more stupid he’d be a dog.

The tan one should be on Ritalin for her ADHD. She has the attention span of a flea and is always in the way. And is not much brighter than the other one. I had cats when I was a child, they were pretty smart. Collectively I doubt these two have the brains to catch a mouse. Fortunately we don’t have mice.

Everyone who visits our house is taken in by them. I am constantly being told how nice our cats are. None of those people have to live with those beasts.

The other day I caught them unawares, together, no doubt plotting mischief. I whipped out my phone and took a quick picture. As you can see, their true nature shines through. Look at those eyes! Don’t tell me these animals aren’t evil!IMG_20160125_200559

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2 comments

  1. Inseason · · Reply

    How did you get their eyes to glow like that? We know you secretly love them 🙂

    1. No trying necessary – the evil just shines through.

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