Lorne’s Law

I vaguely remember studying something called Ohm’s Law when I was a secondary student. I have completely forgotten what it is. Something to do with physics and electricity perhaps.

I suppose I could‎ look it up, but I really have no reason to refresh my memory, so I won’t. You can feel free to check Wikipedia if you really feel a burning urge to know. So much of what I learned in school, interesting at the time, has not been terribly relevant to my adult life. (If indeed I am an adult – some days that would be debatable.)

However I don’t need to look up Murphy’s Law, that one is burned on my memory: What can go wrong will go wrong.

They don’t teach that one in school. It’s not like physics or chemistry, not recognized by scientists, but seems to be pretty much a universal truth. I don’t know who Murphy was, feel free to look that one up too. I’m feeling lazy today.

I do wish to put ‎before you a new theorem, to be known hereafter as “Lorne’s Law.” As with the laws of physics and chemistry, Lorne’s Law has been tested by repeated scientific observations under different conditions and always found to be true.

Lorne’s Law states that: On an airplane flight it is inevitable that if there is a screaming infant on board the flight its parent will be seated either beside you, directly in front of you or behind you.

The corollary to Lorne’s Law states that: On a flight of more than five hours duration there will be more than one screaming infant. They will all be seated adjacent to you.

Go ahead, check it out, you will discover that I am right. Much to your regret.


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