“I Think You’re Hot”

I seem to get the email or its variant every week or so. I’ve never opened it, so I really can’t say what the contents are – but I can guess. The subject line is “I found your profile on Facebook and I think you’re hot :)”

Now you have seen my profile pic - do you think I am hot?

Now you have seen my profile pic – do you think I am hot?

I suppose I should feel flattered. A middle aged male like me should enjoy the attention from a presumably young and attractive female named Lisa. After all, even when I was young I wouldn’t have used the adjective “hot” to describe myself. What I usually feel though when I see the message is amusement. You see, I recently changed my Facebook picture.

Until recently I didn’t have one. I was an early adopter of Facebook, but didn’t see why I should have a picture. Facebook was for me to see what others are up to, not to put my life on public display. “Lisa” I am sure didn’t really see my picture; the privacy settings won’t allow it.

I suppose some would say that I don’t understand social media. I would argue that I understand it all too well, and have no desire to live my life in any more of a spotlight than it already is. I tend to be a private person. I’ve never really enjoyed having my picture taken.

This is why there are few pictures of me with the musicians and other “celebrities” I have met over the years. I don’t think I have any taken before the advent of the World Wide Web, and even then those photos were taken for the website of the radio stations I worked for. There are no pictures of me with Bono, Cliff Richard, Gordon Lightfoot, Mark Farner, Bruce Cockburn or any of the hundreds of others I have met and interviewed over the past four decades. I just didn’t think of it. I do have pictures of me with Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, but they were taken by his official photographer. Maybe meeting with me was a big deal for him and he wanted a memento. (I am kidding about that, my ego isn’t that huge.)

I know that the new normal is to have a huge social media presence, that parents now register websites and twitter accounts for their children at birth. I just don’t think it is that important. (I probably should write about that in a future post or two.) But back to my Facebook profile that the young lady described as “hot.”

A few months ago, after enduring snide remarks from friends both online and offline for years, I posted my first profile picture on Facebook. Except, the picture isn’t me; that is why I find the emails so funny. The picture is not even of a person – it’s a plant.

Specifically it is a picture of a bush sculpted to look like a giant panda. I took it when I visited the panda exhibit last year at the Toronto Zoo. I’d post a picture of the real me so you can compare, to see if I look like the plant, but I can’t find a picture of myself I like and I have an aversion to selfies..

I don’t know whether the emails I am ignoring carry a virus or will take me to some site I don’t want to visit. Maybe they are supposed to seduce me into an online relationship with the purported sender in the hopes I will send money. That’s not going to happen. Once more I am a disappointment to the internet scammers.

But somebody must be falling for their schemes or they wouldn’t keep sending out the emails.

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