Donald Trump has renamed Lake Ontario as Lake America, as he previously tried with the Gulf of Mexico. Most of the world is laughing at him.

The American president doesn’t have the authority or jurisdiction to unilaterally change the name of an international waterway. Americans may have to put up with his vagaries, but the rest of the world will ignore this latest move, just as they did with the Gulf of Mexico.

It s al part of an ongoing trade dispute. Canada won’t do what Trump wants. Even he realizes that kidnapping or killing Canada’s Prime Minister to show his displeasure with Canadian policies (as he did with Venezuela and Iran) might be a step too far for his lap dogs in Congress. So he redraws the map.

Hey, if he can do it, why can’t I? I have just as much authority – and probably a better understanding of both geography and economics.

So below is the new official map of North and Central America. You can start using it as of this morning in all official and unofficial correspondence.

I can’t force you to use these new names. But if you don’t, I might rant and rave about the injustice of it. Would that make me look like an idiot?

You tell me.