Maybe you were joking, maybe you weren’t when you said Canada should become the 51st state. Apparently you thought Justin Trudeau would make a good governor.

Maybe he took more than a month to respond because he was considering the offer. He knew Canadians didn’t want him as Prime Minister anymore, so all jobs offers would be considered.

He was pretty definite though that the idea won’t fly. For once he managed to read the mood of the Canadian people.

We should keep the dialogue going though. I’ve got a better offer. You could become the Premier of our 11th province.

You’d probably enjoy it more than being President. Nobody tries to shoot Canadian premiers, no matter how much they dislike their politics. Most people couldn’t name any of the premiers except the one in their own province.

Think of the issues you wouldn’t have to deal with if you take the job. We don’t have a gun problem and we do have universal health care. No more worries about mass shootings.

If you want to play the tariff game, because you have said you love tariffs, you could do that – we have some weird rules about inter-provincial trade that i think you would enjoy. You would have more time to spend on your golf game.

Talk of Canada becoming part of the US is just a joke if course, even if you were semi-serious. Greenland and Panama rejected your idea much faster, probably because they felt more threatened by the prospect of a US invasion.

After all, the US has successfully invaded both Panama and Greenland before. When you tried to invade Canada things didn’t work out so well, did they? Or has no-one told you about the burning of the White House?

Donald, I don’t think you understand your popularity here. I’m sure someone told you that you are more popular with Canadians than Justin Trudeau. What they probably didn’t tell you was that he is at 16 per cent. Winter snowstorms have a higher approval rating. Though Trudeau’s numbers are bound to approve now that he is leaving.

Seriously though, you really don’t want us. Yes, you covet our natural resources, our water, timber and oil, but our people come with those. In an election most of us would vote Democrat – your Republican party would never win anything ever again. Is that what you want? (That is assuming you will still allow free elections to take place. Some of your statements during last year’s election have me wondering.)

And then there’s Quebec. We are used to the idea of a nation within a nation. With a separate language and culture. We usually get along without too much difficulty. I can’t see you agreeing to make French an official language and all publishing all government documents in it. That would be part of the deal.

Doesn’t sound that appealing does it? And, as for your threats of economic force, that works both ways. There’s a switch in northern Quebec that is set to “on” at the moment. Try and inflict economic pain and someone will turn it to “off,” which will cut the electricity to New York City.

You want to walk up the stairs to get to your penthouse? I thought not.

We can be good neighbors though, as long as you stop spouting nonsense. Once we have an election, I think you’ll like our new Prime Minister. He has a common sense approach to things. Though you won’t be able to bully him like you did to poor Justin Trudeau.

So no, we won’t be your 51st state. Thanks for thinking of us though.